Some Do Battle, Others Just Do Tricks Chap. III

Chapter III: When Your Mother-In-Law is the Goddess of Motherhood…

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Jane was twenty-three days from her due date when she felt like someone had hit her with a hockey stick in the stomach. She bent over as much as she could and focused on breathing. Darcy rubbed her back, speaking in a low tone.

“Labor pains? Are you early?” Darcy asked.

“That… doesn’t feel like labor pains,” Jane said.

“It’s not like you’ve had them before,” Darcy said.

“Something isn’t…” Jane screamed as pain shot up through her spine and then through all her bones.

“Okay. I’m getting a doctor,” Darcy said.

“Thor. Now.”

“But shouldn’t we…”

“Asgard. Go. Now.”

&%&%&%

After calling Thor, Darcy helped Jane move towards the door. Halfway there, another pain struck Jane making her almost fall. Darcy was able to support Jane enough that they were able to bring Jane gently to the ground. Jane lay on her side and focused on the cool tile floor and the baby’s movements. She rubbed her large belly, giving reassurances that everything was going to be okay. The baby kicked and moved at a normal pace, seemingly unaware of its Mother’s discomfort.

Thor ran in and knelt beside Jane. He placed a hand on her forehead and the other on her stomach. “Jane, what is wrong?”

“I don’t know. I keep getting these pains all through my body,” Jane said, “The baby seems okay for now.”

“Loki is grabbing your supplies. He should be…”

“Here,” Loki said, putting the bag on the floor. He knelt next to Thor. “Stark will be driving us to the Bifrost site at the park.”

“Why are we…” Jane started screaming and clung to Thor’s arm. After thirty seconds of agony, the pain receded. “Stark. Maniac. Driver.” Jane gasped.

“We need someone who can avoid police and drive quickly,” Loki said. “The shield I placed on you months ago is being torn by the child. I will remove it since it is just prolonging your pain. First, we go to Stark.”

&%&%&%

Jane did not want to know how much pain she would have been in if Loki had not put up the shield so early in her pregnancy. With the shield removed, she felt like she had the constant pain level of a severe migraine throughout her body. What surprised Jane was that she could sense that the child was playing with magic.

The pain was being caused from the baby becoming restless from the confines of the womb. Loki was worried and that terrified Jane. She had only seen him look like that when Thor had been badly injured and they were not sure the elder Odinson would make it.

“Baby?” Jane asked.

“The babe is safe. The child wants to make an appearance quickly,” Loki said.

“Now? It’s too soon,” Jane said.

“Hopefully we will be in the Healing Room by then. The Bifrost may speed the child’s desire to greet the Nine Realms,” Loki said.

“Does that mean Mini-Thor is going to be making an appearance when Scotty beams you up?” Tony asked.

Loki said in an even tone, “No. Now shut up before I rip out your tongue. You do not worry a pregnant mother. Idiot.”

&%&%&%

When they arrived at Asgard, they were greeted by Frigga, Sif, and the Warriors Three. Hogun was driving a small cart pulled by two horses. The other warriors had two spare horses with them.

Frigga smiled and placed her hands on Jane’s arms. “You will be safe, Jane.”

Jane nodded. “Sorry to come on such short notice.”

“There is nothing to apologize for, Jane. Come. You may walk a little. It will help you. Thor, assist your wife. I will speak to Loki for a moment,” Frigga said.

As Thor helped Jane to the cart, Loki spoke to his Mother on the issues with magic Jane had struggled with. Frigga then went with Jane in the cart while the rest rode behind them. The goddess of motherhood was able to provide some relief for Jane as they rode on.

“Will the baby be okay?” Jane asked several times throughout the trip.

“The child is just playing too hard for you. We will calm the baby down,” Frigga said.

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“Do you know how much longer?” Thor asked.

“For the five hundredth and twenty-third time, I don’t know,” Loki said (which was not an entirely exaggerated number), “All births are different.”

“I would rather do battle then let Jane go through such pain,” Thor said.

Loki upturned a table and forced it to stand straight up towards the ceiling. “Fandral, Hogun, Volgstaff: be useful and get some weapons. We are having target practice.”

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“You are straightening your arm too much. You are going to rip something at the rate you’re going,” Loki said.

“But it’s so light. I must put force behind it,” Thor said.

“Mjolnir has ruined you for being a good dagger thrower,” Loki said as he rubbed his eyes. “We should try spears.”

Thor hefted up a spear with glee and hit just off the center of the bullseye Loki had painted at the center of the table. “Yes!”

“And what are you doing to my table?” Odin said as he entered the room.

The group bowed to Odin. The All-Father looked at the scene of chaos before him and said, “Thor, you are shaking too much. It is like this.”

Odin then effortless picked up a spear and made it hit dead center. “That is how it is done.”

“Any news?” Thor asked.

“Your Mother threatened to have me thrown from the palace if I kept coming for news,” Odin said, “The last time that happened was when I took you and your brother on a bilgesnipe hunt for the first time. I was not allowed near the palace for a week.”

Loki had to leave the room from how hard he wanted to laugh from the thought of the All-Father sulking around the outside of the palace.

&%&%&%

Several hours later, Frigga came to the group weary but happy. “Thor, Jane is well. You have a healthy baby girl.”

Thor let out a “whoop” of excitement and ran towards where Jane would be recovering. Frigga received a kiss on the cheek before her eldest son left.

Volgstaff sighed. “A girl.”

“And what is wrong with a girl?” Sif asked.

“That means she will be the fiercest warrior of Asgard and the prettiest. There goes my title,” Volgstaff said with a large grin

Thor’s friends slapped each other on the back before breaking out the ale.

Odin came to his wife and kissed her hand. “Do you feel as old as I do today, Frigga?”

“This is probably the oldest I have ever felt, but possibly the happiest,” Frigga said.

Loki snuck out of the room.

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Thor quieted himself when he was allowed to enter Jane’s recovery room. Jane was holding a small bundle in her arms, whispering to her daughter. Thor was certain he had never seen Jane look more beautiful than at that moment.

“Hello, dearest,” Thor whispered before kissing Jane’s forehead.

“Hey,” Jane said, “Isn’t she beautiful?”

Thor rubbed his eyes, pushing away tears. “Aye, that she is. She has your eyes.”

“And she has your hair and I will bet she has your stubbornness,” Jane said.

“My stubbornness? Must I remind you of which one of us caused the All-Father to recant on his stance of humans and Asgardians marrying?” Thor said.

Jane smiled and kissed her daughter’s forehead. “Do you want to hold her?”

Thor nodded and gently took his daughter into his arms. “She can fit in my hands alone. Look at how small she is.”

“She is probably the most beautiful thing I have seen,” Jane said.

“Look, she’s waking up,” Thor said, “She has your eye color.” Thor lowered his voice to a whisper. “Welcome, daughter. I love you very much. Nothing in the Nine Realms will change that.”

Jane sniffled and wiped away tears as Thor spoke to his daughter, tears trickling from his eyes as well. Thor spoke of the wonders he would show the little girl and what an amazing life she would have.

“And you have a wonderful family, daughter. Your Mother is the most intelligent and bravest woman in the Nine Realms. There are your grandparents, the All-Father Odin, and Frigga, Queen of Asgard. Your Uncle Loki is the greatest of all sorcerers. Lady Sif and the Warriors Three are family as well and they will spoil you as badly as the rest of your aunts and uncles. Then there is your family on Midgard There is Uncle Erik, Aunt Darcy, Uncle Tony, Aunt Pepper, Uncle Steve, Uncle Bruce, Aunt Natasha, Uncle Clint, and Uncle Phil. All of them brave and true. You are so blessed, little one. Never shall you be without help.”

“And your Daddy will always protect you,” Jane whispered, “He is the best man I have ever met.”

Thor kissed Jane’s forehead. “Can I bring others to see her?”

Jane nodded. “Loki and your parents first, okay? I want to nap soon.”

Thor placed their daughter back in Jane’s arms and gave them both a kiss. As he opened the door, Thor saw Loki pacing the hall with a stuffed toy dragon in one hand.

“Brother, would you like to see your niece?” Thor asked.

Loki looked up and seemed nervous. “I just came by to give her this. I do not wish to disturb…”

“You are family, Loki. Jane requested that you see your niece,” Thor said, dragging Loki into the room.

Loki walked quietly behind Thor. The elder brother motioned for the younger to sit in a chair. Thor brought over his daughter and placed her in Loki’s arms.

“There you go. This is your Uncle Loki. Say hi to Uncle Loki,” Thor said.

The baby nestled closer to Loki and instinctively grasped his shirt. Loki cleared his throat. “Hello… child. Um… I’m Uncle Loki. I um…”

“I did not know what to say either,” Thor said.

“Well, there is not much to say,” Loki said, “You, child, will always have my protection. I will make sure of that.”

The baby fussed and Loki quickly gave the baby back to Jane. “She is beautiful, Thor.”

“Indeed. The most beautiful creature in all the Nine Realms,” Thor said, slapping Loki on the back. “You know, this reminds me of when I first held you. I was completely silent as I did not realize that babies did anything besides cry when you spoke to them. You always looked up and smiled at me. I am infinitely blessed to have you, Jane, and my dear daughter.”

Loki rubbed the back of his neck. “That is… thank you. Um… what is her name?”

“Halldóra Veðrfölnir Sarah Foster,” Thor said.

“Please tell me you are not going to call her that all the time,” Loki said.

“Of course not,” Thor said, “We will call her Hal for short.”

Loki sighed in relief. “Well, Hal, I wish you the best blessings in life.”

&%&%&%

Two weeks into their stay at Asgard, Jane and Thor left Halldóra in the care of her grandparents for half an hour. They had slowly been leaving Hal with her guardians for longer bits of time since Jane would be returning to work after Hal was three months old.

Thor and Jane took a walk around the palace grounds, stopping briefly at the library for Jane to have an idea of what books she wished to borrow before returning to Midgard. As the half-hour neared its end, the couple passed the stables just as Odin and Loki entered it.

“Am I imagining things, or did I see your Father carrying Halldóra?” Jane asked.

“I saw it as well. Let us see what they are up to,” Thor said.

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“This is my horse, Sleipnir,” Odin said to his granddaughter, “Your Uncle Loki won him for me a long time ago. And unlike the myths, this is not your cousin.”

“Father, what a pleasure to see you. We thought you would remain inside,” Thor said.

Odin looked up. “No. It was such a warm day I thought the little one would like to take a look.”

Loki mumbled, “Even if a baby’s eyesight cannot see that far.”

“I wish to speak to Doctor Foster for a moment,” Odin said.

Thor and Loki bowed before stepping out. Odin placed Hal back into her Mother’s arms, along with a sea serpent stuffed animal toy.

“Loki seems fond of his niece. He keeps giving her presents and worrying over her like a nursemaid when you or Thor are not near,” Odin chuckled, “I have not seen him offer such affections to anyone since he brought home a wolf as a pet.”

“I am going to guess that it did not go well,” Jane said.

“Oh, the wolf was perfectly behaved for Loki and knew that the rest of the family was to be obeyed. It was everyone else who was wary,” Odin said, “That wolf was the most pampered pup ever to live in Asgard and lived a long, long healthy life.”

Jane shifted how she was holding her daughter. “I was just… a bit worried. Neither Thor nor I would allow anyone near Hal if they were any threat, but I was worried that Loki might feel displaced more than he already does,” Jane said. She smiled. “The fact that we now have basically a built-in-babysitter is fantastic.”

Odin gently touched his granddaughter’s small hand. “It is an unexpected blessing to have my sons back. I am very grateful to see Thor’s heir. I did not believe I would see the day. I thought it would be just as my Father did not see Thor and my Father’s Father did not see me,” Odin said.

“I am happy that you got to see your grandchild. Even in our more… robust disagreements, I wanted you to see as much of your family as you could,” Jane said.

Odin nodded. He then said quietly, “You are good for Thor and your child.”

“He is good for me, too. I am eternally blessed to have had Thor’s child” Jane said.

Halldóra began to fuss. The All-Father and the Woman of Science went their separate ways.

&%&%&%

When the Asgardians and Jane came to Earth a month after Halldóra’s birth, the Avengers tried not to be overly enthusiastic… and failed.

Hal was passed between all of the Avengers plus Pepper and Darcy over the course of ten minutes. Jane sat in a state of horror as she heard Tony explain to Thor a suit he was thinking of giving Hal on her fifth birthday and Clint wanted to put a bow in Halldóra’s hands as soon as she could walk ten steps by herself.  The rest at least seem content that Hal was a baby, but they were overestimating the child’s tolerance of strangers and the separation from her Mother.

Loki went over to Tony and smacked him over the head with a stuffed animal.

“Hey! What was that for? And what the Hell are you holding?” Tony asked.

Loki glanced at the toy. “A bilgesnipe.”

“It looks like a moose that took steroids for his antlers and got it on with a lizard,” Tony said.

“It does not matter. What does matter is that my niece is being overtaxed on her first day in her new home. Can you not see how uncomfortable she is?” Loki said.

Tony looked over at Clint and Hal. “I guess you’re right. Clint, can you give back Hal to her Mom?”

“But I just got her,” Clint said.

“Nope. I’m going to agree with the water buffalo on this one. Give her back to Mommy Foster,” Tony said.

Clint sighed but gave the baby back to Jane.

“Good, now leave,” Loki said.

“What?” was the universal response.

“The child needs to rest and the Avengers are not known for serenity,” Loki said, “I will leave as well.”

“Come on folks, shoo,” Darcy said. She started pushing Clint towards the door.

Loki placed the bilgesnipe (along with Mini versions of Lady Sif and the Warriors Three) in Hal’s room as the Avengers said their goodbyes with promises of visiting another day. Darcy and Loki were the last to leave.

“Your assistance is much appreciated, Darcy,” Loki said.

“Thank you. Trying to win points with the parents so I can hog the baby tomorrow,” Darcy said.

“Wise of you,” Loki said. He went over to Hal. “Enjoy your new home, little one. Uncle Loki will see you tomorrow.”

Hal merely yawned in response but it made Loki grin. “You most definitely take after your Father.”

Loki escorted Darcy out of Thor and Jane’s apartment. Darcy said, “You are so going to use Hal to pick up chicks, aren’t you?”

“I do not understand,” Loki said.

“You can play up the whole hot, caring uncle. All the adorableness of a baby but none of the commitment,” Darcy said.

“That had not crossed my mind,” Loki said.

Darcy laughed and elbowed Loki. “Loki, you so have thought about it.”

Loki rolled his eyes. “I honestly have not.”

“Lord of lies,” Darcy said just before the elevator closed.

“I am capable of...” the elevator closed before Loki’s sentence finished.

“Can I request that those two not be left alone with Hal together? I think they are going to come up with worst stuff then Tony if they put their heads together,” Jane said.

Thor chuckled. “I am happy Loki has found a friend here outside of the Avengers.”

“I am just glad someone can keep up with him,” Jane said, “Why a bilgesnipe?”

“Why a spider? It makes sense to Loki and that is good enough for me,” Thor said.

&%&%&%

Jane got up in the middle of the night to feed her daughter. Hal was seventeen weeks old. The child was already playing with her plush Mjolnir and was fond of her bilgesnipe. She was also very demanding if her needs were not immediately met.

As Jane opened the door to the nursery, she saw a feminine figure standing by the crib. Before she could scream, Jane was thrown against the wall across the hall. The feminine figure turned towards Jane, but her face was still hidden in the shadows.

“You must be Thor’s whore,” the woman said, “Do give him my love.”